Lately I’ve been talking a lot about hair — long hair. And maybe that’s because I sense spring in the air, which gets me thinking about summer, which gets me thinking about long, mermaid hair. Or maybe it’s because despite there being cute long bobs everywhere I look, I just can’t cut it. Maybe I’m set in my ways, or I’m just that good with commitment, but I’m still loyal to my lifelong goal of Rapunzel/mermaid hair. Thanks to my fabulously talented friend and hair stylist, Gerald, we have a game plan to hit this goal and after two years in the making, it’s coming — it’s nearly to my waist and it’s happening. So, without further ado, allow me to introduce the legendary, the fabulous and the hilarious Gerald Pankiw of the Loft Salon Spa and Bar.

P.s. you won’t regret reading this.

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“Why the hell won’t my hair grow!?!”
“The front of my hair is at a stand-still!!!”
“Don’t come near my hair with those scissors!! I’m trying to grow it.”

We stylists at The LOFT Salon•Spa•Bar hear this every day from clients desperate to grow their hair. So, I’m here to tell all you sexy bitches how to get that crazy-long mermaid hair that covers your nips. Because, let’s be honest, that’s why you’re reading this article. So here they are:

1) Extend your Blow Out!
Most of us were raised to wash our hair daily but the times are changing — tell the world! If you take the time and properly blow out your hair with the correct products and don’t just half-ass blow dry it, your blow dry will not only look pro, but it will last longer. Use a root pump and a blow out cream (I recommend Nectar Thermique  Blow Dry Cream by Kérastase and Root Lift by Living Proof) for that perfect Day One pro blow out.

Now, I don’t care if you go to the gym or sweat it out in hot yoga because you can dry shampoo that mane and get at least another day out of your blow out. Invest in a good dry shampoo. Living Proof Dry Shampoo is my personal fave. We can’t even keep it on the shelves. So, get up in the morning, shower with a shower cap on and then assess your hair. Dry shampoo it if it’s oily (ask your stylist for a demo) and re-flat iron or curl you hair, where needed. Put some oil on the ends if they feel dry (Kérastase Elixir Ultime is our salon go-to), and voila! You have Day Two hair without putting your hair through the full routine. If you’re not getting all hot and sweaty (I don’t want to know what you’re doing to get so sweaty! Just joking, I do want to know), you should even be able to extend it for another day. Some people even get a fourth, depending on hair type.

So, even when you invest in an expensive shampoo you MUST learn to extend your blow outs and wash as little as possible! This tip should be number one on your things to do if you want long hair. Why? Because every time you wash your hair, you brush it and heat style it, increasing the wear and tear on your precious ends. Mermaids live in water, you don’t. You need to stop drying out those locks.

2) Dust those nasty ends
Remember that nipple-covering length we talked about? If you want to get there, you need to keep those ends from splitting. The longer you let your hair grow without trimming, the longer and nastier those ends will get. Most women who complain their hair won’t grow are usually girls with finer more fragile hair. If you have your stylist dust your ends every four weeks, you will see your hair growing stronger and faster. This works!! I have put it to the test, time and again. Be aware that you must just have your hair DUSTED, not cut. My definition of dusting is that you don’t see hair on the floor. You’re literally just getting the tiny little ends dusted off so your hair won’t split. You need trust in your stylist for this though and that person needs to clear on what dusting means.

3) Have the right tools
Chuck that 2002 flat iron in the bin and invest in something new. The plates are nasty and the coating is worn off. You’re just heating your hair on metal at this point and you might as well be straightening it on the ironing board like your mom did in the 70s. So go grab yourself a new iron. I can go on forever about the different technology in irons but I’ll save that for another blog. Update your blow dryer too. If you want long hair, then believe me, invest in higher quality tools for your hair. You’ll see huge results.

4) Treat it right
Have your stylist prescribe the proper shampoo and conditioner for your hair type. Nine times out of ten you’re going to need a conditioning product with protein. This helps to restore and rebuild the strength of your hair, especially the ends. Remember though, only wash your hair when absolutely necessary. My favourite is the Ciment Anti-Usure from Kérastase.

Treatments are highly potent systems that will give your hair the boost it needs. We recommend monthly Kérastase Fusio-dose treatments for any hair type. When in a rush to grow your hair, you may need to do a come every three weeks, depending on your hair type. Grabbing a take home treatment can also help.

Heat protecting blow dry creams are essential for protecting hair from heat damage. Ciment Thermique from Kérastase is my ultimate fave.

5) Don’t over-colour
Make sure your stylist isn’t over-colouring your hair or overlapping your highlights. If your colour isn’t applied properly this can damage your hair, causing your grow-out to come to a grinding halt due to chemical breakage.

Follow my advice and you will have hair longer than Ariel and all her sisters, minus all the gross barnacles. Trust me.